Relationships--Sponsorship vs Partnership

When I point out the importance (and absence) of authentic human connections today, a tragic byproduct of the lockdown era that began in 2020, I often hear, “But there are people in relationships everywhere.” True. And it used to give me pause. Not any longer.

Yes, there are people in relationships everywhere. But they’re often not in partnerships. They’re in sponsorships. There is a critical difference between the two.

Sponsorships are quite popular here in Los Angeles. Generally, they consist of a man and a woman who present themselves as a dating couple, yet the relationship is purely transactional. The woman is usually quite attractive and quite unemployed. The man is the opposite. They share little to no values, even if they eventually marry one another. There is never love between them. They may not even like one another. Yet each is getting something from the other that cannot be generated on one’s own.

In a sponsorship, the man receives a reliable source of sex and social companionship, while the woman gets her financial needs met. The disproportionate financial status of the two is not what makes the relationship a sponsorship, nor that the man fulfills the needed role of provider. It is the absence of the qualities of partnership that distinguish it as purely transactional.